Maybe I Should Slay The Dragon

TheCreative.com Weekly Prompt:

“I would never slay the dragon,

because the dragon was also me.”

― John Green, Turtles All the Way Down

The dragon is indeed me; it lives inside my brain, along with a number of other predatory beasts, vile monsters, feral creatures and also their unimaginable hideous languages that can only be translated by me, flooding my mind with tortuous concepts, leaving no room for peace or reasonable thoughts that are common and available to the average human brain.

I never invited these dangerous and hideous savages into my mind and generally one would never know they exist in me given my average appropriate day to day behavior. But I’ve noticed that as time goes by, these dragons and monsters are surviving and advancing their intended damage by way of feasting on my brain, roaming freely in my mind and getting ever closer to attacking my very soul.

I have made attempts at slaying these demons in spite of and the risk of destroying my true self. I don’t want to live with these horrible specimens. I am not the same person I was before and I miss that person a lot and am suffering greatly at the loss. Obviously I’ve failed so far in eradicating my cluster of soul-sucking inhabitants which begs the question: why not slay the dragon and others even if it leads to the inevitable loss of my earthly being? There comes a point where trying to convince myself that to stay in this dysfunctional relationship is clearly masochistic. So maybe it it is time to slay the dragon even as I know I am the dragon. I don’t want to be the dragon anymore. That being the case, I want it gone.

Addendum added August 3, 2018

A quote from Medium writer Luzid Musigil:

“Perhaps the monsters that we fear the most live inside us, and sometimes, they win.”