The Worst Boyfriend Ever

This may seem a bit nefarious

But it’s really quite hilarious

***

My boyfriend was the worst

And he wasn’t even the first

***

My choices have been questionable

My brain cells were inexcusable

***

But this particular boyfriend

He really did transcend

***

The boundaries of acceptability

With his cluelessness and stupidity

***

He was not the sharpest knife in the drawer

And he turned out to be quite the bore

***

Frankly, he was a few French fries short of a Happy Meal

And honestly I just could not deal

***

Yes, he was sexy and cute as a kitten

And often found me quite smitten

***

But his self-proclaimed sexual prowess

Most certainly did not impress

***

His emotional quotient was at a stage

That was considerably less than his actual age

***

He was ignorant of my needs

And had the personality of a bunch of weeds

***

His sweet talking was underwhelming

And left me bewildered and wondering

***

Why I stayed for what seemed an eternity

I wish I could say was as a courtesy

***

But alas, my hope for some change in his idiocy

Was simply just a pipe dream of absurdity

***

I finally gathered up the nerve it would take

To leave him in a total stupor in my wake.

***

So ladies, please be forewarned

The worst boyfriend ever is not going to be transformed.

4 thoughts on “The Worst Boyfriend Ever

  1. This is really good, Amy. I have figured out how to make sure these posts get to me now, instead of going to a file I see. Let’s talk.

    On Fri, Jun 18, 2021 at 7:52 AM You Just Can’t Make This Shit Up wrote:

    > Amy Clapp posted: ” This may seem a bit nefarious But it’s really quite > hilarious *** My boyfriend was the worst And he wasn’t even the first *** > My choices have been questionable My brain cells were inexcusable *** But > this particular boyfriend ” >

    Like

  2. Amy, this is priceless! Good advice for girls of all ages, we’ve either known one, or will. I hope all mine are in the rear view mirror! 🥰🥰🥰

    Salud,

    Lucky Hazelip 33.2184.7305 MX mobile (from Mexico) 011-52-33-2184-7305 from US NEW: 408.819.2358 US landline to our Mexican home

    “Leap, and the net will appear”

    Sent from my iPad

    >

    Like

  3. Aloha, Amy — This is pretty funny! Sorry you had to go through with it, but obviously you learned something. How do I know? Two words: Alan Clapp. Love,Bill www.billworthbooks.com

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.