I Wish For You a Better Me

My flaws are many

My good ideas are few

But one thing I am not

Is accountable to you

 

I make a lot of mistakes

I sometimes act inappropriately

But that doesn’t give you the right

To treat me disdainfully

 

You seem to hate me

I never say or do the right thing

But I hate myself even more

And to you I would never cling

 

How will we get through this?

How much longer will we try?

It seems no matter what,

We always have an ugly goodbye

 

The bridge was built long and solid

But it’s burning every day

And I’m too old and tired

To be able to swim away

 

I know, because you tell me

That it’s all my fault

I ruin everything

And I need to bring it to a halt

 

But even that’s not good enough for long

For soon I will err again

And your forgiveness is over

Even before it began

 

I would ask you to give me a chance

To redeem myself in your eyes

But like I said, I’m old and tired

And I’ve been through too many tries

 

Maybe it’s all just karma

You disliking me so

Because I, too,

Deeply dislike my foe

 

So we’ll continue our days

Walking on eggshells

Knowing that at any moment

It can all go to hell.

 

Yes I ruin everything

And probably always will

But that’s not what I set out to do

I am justly defined as ruinous because I am ill

 

You deserved better

You and I both know it

But this is all I’ve got for you

And my heart is breaking bit by bit

 

I wish there was a better me out there for you

I wish I could be flawless and perfect enough

But alas, this is what you’re stuck with

And for you I know it’s unfair and tough

 

I feel the eggshells beginning to crack

So I better end this missive

Although I suspect you’ll never read it

Because of me you’re so dismissive.

 

I wish I could end this on a hopeful note

And if I could, I would

Perhaps someday, from that burning bridge

Maybe you’ll send me a boat

But the fact that I’m even writing this

Makes me think there is no hope