Let Me Tell You How This Works: How To Succeed Growing Up In The House Of Amy

In order to survive childhood in my house, it was always a good idea to follow these profound and savvy Words Of Wisdom bestowed upon my bewildered, sometimes downright witless (embarrassingly so) kids. You may find some of these epistles unorthodox, well-meaning though they may be.

1. There’s nothing you can say or do in your youth that I haven’t already said or done…..twice.
2. If you don’t ask the answer is always no.
3. If someone is bullying you chances are they are being bullied. We don’t know what goes on behind other people’s closed doors so we should feel compassion not anger.
4. I only regret the things I don’t do.
5. Always keep your credit in good standing and check your credit score often.
6. We are a family and we will always support each other.
7. Because that’s what Moms do.
8. Moms know everything.
9. Always check your work.
10. . Just do your best; that’s all you can do.
11. . You think you know what love is until you have your first baby. That child will always be the first true love of your life.
12. Reading is the key. Go read a book.
13. Look it up.
14. All I want is for you to be happy. Nothing else matters.
15. Always follow up.
16. People gotta leave sometime. (When looking for a parking space).
17. Don’t start a business with a family member.
18. Take the high road. Even if it’s lonely up there.
19. To My Son: Don’t be a dick.
20. Upon entering a store go straight to the sales section.
21. People don’t care one bit about you or your outfit or hairstyle; they are too busy being full of themselves.
22. Not Me? Where’s Not Me? When did Not Me get here? Go find him; I need to talk to him.
23. Every moment is a teaching moment.
24. You cannot control time. You cannot pause, rewind or fast forward. You also can’t stop time. You must accept this to achieve success.
25. Once you become a bona fide adult you must have a Plan. And then you must understand that nothing ever goes as planned.